Commentary:
Sounds like the plot twist nobody saw coming in a rom-com about household chores!
161 Funny marriage quotes
If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate practice-makes-perfect relationship strategy! 💍🤣
In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.
Commentary:
So if my last name is "Thunderbolt," I'm definitely winning the name game! ⚡😂
Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.
Commentary:
Here's my wallet crying… must be married! 💸😂🔔
Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
Commentary:
When you upgrade your couch to a luxury suite with just one forgotten date! 🛋️➡️🛏️😅
Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”
Commentary:
Wives: Master keys to the universe and ultimate plot twist forecasters! 🔮🔑😂
Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to make some space in the closet for my dreams of a man cave 😂🏠
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.
Commentary:
Finally, a lifetime subscription to the post-social event gossip club! 🗣️💬👫🤣
“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”
Commentary:
Wish I could sleep like a king, but my partner insists on queenly proximity! 😂👑🛌
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂