Commentary:
Looks like Linda is my new imaginary marriage counselor! 😂💍🤷♂️
2117 Funny me quotes
I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.
Commentary:
Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! 🌱😂🪴
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.
Commentary:
Plot twist: My chin hairs have better plot development than most TV shows 😂🪒
Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.
Commentary:
I’m over here napping while you’re holding a grudge 💤😴😂
Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.
Commentary:
When even Mother Earth wants to shake things up during your downtime! 🌍🛌😂
Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's on a purse quest—treasure chest and all! 👜😂🏴☠️
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.
Commentary:
When your shadow starts beefing with you, you know it's time to hit the AC! 😎🔥✌️
The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.
Commentary:
Definitely a multi-level workout program 😂🏋️♀️🛑
If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”
Commentary:
Demon: "I've made a grave mistake." Me: "Welcome to the chaos, buddy!" 😈🤷♀️
Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.
Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new definition of "bad mood" and some unexpected foot placement! 🤠🙈✨