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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Going viral on Twitch:

My lips could use some attention today.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Live now on Snapchat:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Just shared via YouTube:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Going viral on Messenger:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Funny mechanic quotes

Funny mechanic quotes are the perfect way to shift gears into laughter 🚗😂 Whether you’re a grease-stained pro or just love cars, these witty gems rev up your day with humor 🛠️😄 From clever puns to cheeky one-liners, they spin the wrench on everyday auto struggles and bring smiles under the hood 🔧😁 Ready to fuel your funny bone? Let’s hit the road with some hilarious mechanic vibes! 🚙💨

New funny mechanic quotes 👇

All funny mechanic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

21 shares on X this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

39 shares on Discord this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, these end times are taking forever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Just landed via Threads:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just shared via Slack:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Going viral on Facebook:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Seen just now on Threads:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Going bananas on X:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

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