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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has viewed:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has shared:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said β€˜compliments to the chef’.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Messenger:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Trending via Telegram:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Live now on X:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Spotted on YouTube:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If there is a God and He β€œloves” us, then explain snakes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Breaking via WeChat:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Funny melancholy quotes

Funny melancholy quotes bring a quirky twist to those bittersweet moments we all know too well πŸ˜…πŸ’”. They mix laughter with a dash of sadness, creating the perfect mood for a smile through the gloom πŸŒ§οΈπŸ˜‚. Whether you’re feeling a little blue or just love witty reflections on life’s ups and downs, these gems will brighten your day with clever charm and a pinch of irony ✨😜.

New funny melancholy quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny melancholy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

33 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

66 shares on Threads this month:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has shared:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has viewed:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via X:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Breaking via Telegram:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Going viral on WeChat:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Breaking via Telegram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

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