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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,991

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Live now on Slack:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Making waves on X:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Going viral on X:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Trending via Slack:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Seen just now on Slack:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Just shared via Threads:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Funny Mission Impossible quotes

Funny Mission Impossible quotes bring a burst of laughter to intense spy action 🎬💥 Whether it’s Tom Cruise’s daring stunts or unexpected moments of humor, these lines add a hilarious twist to the high-stakes missions 🕵️‍♂️😂 Get ready to chuckle, because even the impossible can be funny when wit and action collide! 🚀🔥

New funny Mission Impossible quotes 👇

All funny Mission Impossible quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Going viral on WeChat:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Going viral on WeChat:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Trending via Discord:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Spotted on Twitch:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

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