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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Going viral on Telegram:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Freshly posted on X:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Breaking via TikTok:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Trending via Discord:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Just landed via Threads:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Shared recently on X:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Funny Mission Impossible quotes

Funny Mission Impossible quotes bring a burst of laughter to intense spy action 🎬💥 Whether it’s Tom Cruise’s daring stunts or unexpected moments of humor, these lines add a hilarious twist to the high-stakes missions 🕵️‍♂️😂 Get ready to chuckle, because even the impossible can be funny when wit and action collide! 🚀🔥

New funny Mission Impossible quotes 👇

All funny Mission Impossible quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’ve got a shituation here.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

12 shares on Slack this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,078

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Just shared via X:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Trending via Messenger:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Live now on TikTok:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spotted on YouTube:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

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