Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending via Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Spotted on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Just shared via YouTube:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Funny picky quotes

Funny picky quotes bring a hilarious twist to those who know exactly what they want (and aren’t afraid to say it) 😆👌 Whether it’s about food, friends, or fashion, these witty lines celebrate the art of being selectively awesome 🎯✨ Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even embrace your inner picky perfectionist with a smile! 😜🔥

New funny picky quotes 👇

All funny picky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

97 shares on Threads this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Spotted on Threads:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Live now on TikTok:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Trending via Twitch:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

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