Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Breaking via Threads:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Live now on TikTok:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Making waves on YouTube:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Going viral on X:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Just landed via Messenger:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Funny playful threat quotes

Funny playful threat quotes bring a cheeky twist to your witty comebacks 😜💥 Perfect for teasing friends or lightening the mood, these clever lines mix humor with a pinch of sass 😈🎉 Ready to sprinkle some mischief into your conversations? Get set to charm and chuckle with every playful jab! 😂🔥

New funny playful threat quotes 👇

All funny playful threat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Going viral on Telegram:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Going viral on WeChat:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

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