Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Trending via Slack:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Just landed via Threads:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Funny polite quotes

Funny polite quotes bring a cheeky twist to manners and kindness 😄✨ Perfect for brightening your day or lightening up a conversation, these witty sayings blend humor with charm 🎉💬 Whether you want to be clever without being rude or just love a good laugh with a sprinkle of etiquette, these gems will keep you smiling and polite at the same time 😉👏

New funny polite quotes 👇

All funny polite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

51 shares on Slack this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,799

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Breaking via YouTube:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Making waves on Twitch:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Live now on Pinterest:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Just landed via Reddit:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Just landed via Messenger:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Just shared via X:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Making waves on Instagram:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

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