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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Spotted on Twitch:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Spotted on Instagram:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Going viral on YouTube:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Funny possessiveness quotes

Funny possessiveness quotes bring a cheeky twist to those clingy moments we all secretly love 😜💕 Whether it’s about your favorite person, pet, or even that last slice of pizza 🍕, these witty lines capture the playful side of holding on tight without taking life too seriously. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with that special someone who’s just a little bit possessive (in the best way!) 😍😂

New funny possessiveness quotes 👇

All funny possessiveness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

70 shares on Slack this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Breaking via Facebook:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Spotted on Slack:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Just landed via Discord:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Shared recently on Threads:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Just landed via Facebook:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Just landed via Threads:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

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