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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Spotted on Slack:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Seen just now on X:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Drive like no one is watching.

Making waves on TikTok:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Just shared via Telegram:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny psychopath quotes

Funny psychopath quotes bring a twisted twist of humor to the dark side 🖤😈. Perfect for those who love a little mischief mixed with laughter, these witty lines blend creepy charm and clever sarcasm 🤪🕵️‍♂️. Whether you’re here for a chuckle or a spine-tingling grin, get ready to explore humor that’s delightfully unpredictable and oh-so-entertaining! 🎭🔥

New funny psychopath quotes 👇

All funny psychopath quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a break from me.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

45 shares on Slack this month:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No amount of daylight can save us.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Breaking via Facebook:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Spotted on Messenger:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Just shared via X:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Just landed via WeChat:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Breaking via X:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Live now on X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

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