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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Trending via YouTube:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Shared recently on Discord:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Just landed via Telegram:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Home » Funny Self Employment Quotes

Funny self employment quotes

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All funny self employment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Making waves on Discord:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Going viral on X:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Just landed via Reddit:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Broadcasted on X:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Just shared via TikTok:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Going viral on Reddit:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

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