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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Going viral on Discord:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Spotted on Instagram:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Just landed via Discord:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Trending via Facebook:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Spotted on TikTok:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Live now on Slack:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Funny shave quotes

Funny shave quotes 🪒 bring a splash of humor to your grooming routine! Whether you’re tackling the morning stubble or embracing the smooth look, these witty lines will make you chuckle 😄 and maybe even inspire your next shave session. Get ready to laugh through the nicks and cuts while celebrating the art of staying sharp ✂️ and stylish!

New funny shave quotes 👇

All funny shave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Trending via X:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Just shared via Threads:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Trending via Messenger:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

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