Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Trending via Reddit:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Just shared via Threads:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Going viral on Facebook:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Breaking via Telegram:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Funny smoker quotes

Funny smoker quotes light up your day with a puff of humor and a spark of wit! 😂🚬 Whether you’re a seasoned smoker or just here for the laughs, these playful sayings bring a cheeky twist to the smoky habit. Get ready to giggle, nod, and maybe even share a smoke break chuckle with friends.🔥😄 Light up your mood with some hilarious vibes and inhale the fun! 🎉💨

New funny smoker quotes 👇

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

2 months ago

airport, confinement, humanity, humor, irony, sadness, smoker, smokers, terrarium, travel, waiting
Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

2 months ago

before, behavior, cannabis, hold, humor, i, joke, paranoia, recreational, scared, smoker, smokers, social, social behavior, stereotypes, store, weed
They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

2 months ago

break, breaks, give, health, humor, irony, lifespan, smoker, smokers, taken, time

All funny smoker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

45 shares on X this month:

I’ve disappointed better people.

34 shares on X this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Even wild things have slow mornings.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Just landed via Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Spotted on Slack:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Live now on Discord:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Seen just now on Slack:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

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