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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Spotted on Slack:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Breaking via Slack:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Going viral on Snapchat:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Breaking via Messenger:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Trending via Telegram:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Live now on TikTok:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Breaking via Telegram:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Shared recently on Slack:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Funny smoker quotes

Funny smoker quotes light up your day with a puff of humor and a spark of wit! 😂🚬 Whether you’re a seasoned smoker or just here for the laughs, these playful sayings bring a cheeky twist to the smoky habit. Get ready to giggle, nod, and maybe even share a smoke break chuckle with friends.🔥😄 Light up your mood with some hilarious vibes and inhale the fun! 🎉💨

New funny smoker quotes 👇

All funny smoker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

69 shares on Instagram this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

81 shares on Slack this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

95 shares on X this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,802

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Trending via Facebook:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Spotted on TikTok:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Going bananas on Instagram:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Just shared via YouTube:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

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