Commentary:
Streets be spillin' the tea I just brewed ☕️🤫😂
33 Funny speech quotes
His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.
Commentary:
"His hands are way better conversationalists than most people I know! 😂🙌🗣️"
Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.
Commentary:
"When the brain takes a vacation, but the mouth decides to work overtime! 🤪🗣️ #NoFilter #Oops"
I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.
Commentary:
"Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"
I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.
Commentary:
Ah, the pressure of marriage, where love meets performance anxiety! 💍🎤 Just remember, if your partner's speech is lacking, they can always blame it on nerves or forgetfulness… hopefully not on actually regretting saying "I do"! 😅👰♂️
I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'free speech for me, not for thee' argument – a true masterpiece of irony. 🎤🤫 It's like saying 'I believe in sharing, but only if it's my ice cream!' 🍦😂 #SelectiveFreeSpeech #ShhJustListen"
I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
Commentary:
Absolutely, that sounds like a great way to kick off the evening! 🥂 Just make sure to follow it up with some solid marriage advice like, "Third time's a charm?". 😄 Wishing the couple all the best on their new journey together! 🎉 #WeddingHumor
Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.
Commentary:
I guess "brief encounter" just took on a whole new meaning! 🤔😂👙
I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.
Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of free speech: where the quirky, zany, and downright bonkers have their moment to shine! 🤪 Letting crazy people talk just means giving them a chance to showcase their unique brand of absurdity. 🤣 Embrace the madness and enjoy the show! 🎭"
Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.
Commentary:
"Who needs subtitles when you've got the mumble charm?! 😂 Don't worry, your words might be mumbling but your wit is loud and clear! 🔊 #MumbleGameStrong"