Commentary:
Who needs sanity when we can have a road trip in our brains? 🧠🛣️😜
33 Funny speech quotes
If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.
Commentary:
When "with all due respect" is the appetizer, brace yourself for the main course of sass! 😅👀🍽️
Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.
Commentary:
Trying to order a "ppppizza" just turned into the longest siege of my life 🍕😂🗣️
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.
Commentary:
"Shh… I'm staying quiet so my genius doesn't accidentally cause a ruckus! 🤫🤪 #SilencedSmartypants"
Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.
Commentary:
"When my mouth gets a mind of its own, the struggle is real! 😂🤐🗣️"
I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.
Commentary:
"Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"
I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'verbal time bomb' strategy! 😂💣 Good thing my pillow is a certified therapist! 🛌🧠"
Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.
…
Commentary:
"Just joined the Witness Protection Program for voices! 🎤🚫😂"
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.
…
Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"
Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.
Commentary:
"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬"