Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Freshly posted on X:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Just landed via Messenger:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Trending via Slack:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Spotted on Reddit:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Making waves on Threads:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Freshly posted on X:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Just landed via Threads:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Funny speed date quotes

Funny speed date quotes are the perfect way to capture those whirlwind moments of love, laughter, and awkward silences in just a few words! 💕⏱️ Whether you’re racing through conversations or dodging quirky questions, these witty gems keep the vibe light and entertaining. Get ready to smile, cringe, and maybe even relate as we dive into the hilarious chaos of speed dating! 😂💬❤️

New funny speed date quotes 👇

All funny speed date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Slack this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

64 shares on X this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

15 shares on Instagram this month:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Spotted on Twitch:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Making waves on WeChat:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Trending via Instagram:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Making waves on Reddit:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

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