Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Just landed via Discord:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I need money, not feelings.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Trending via Instagram:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Trending via Slack:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Funny speed date quotes

Funny speed date quotes are the perfect way to capture those whirlwind moments of love, laughter, and awkward silences in just a few words! 💕⏱️ Whether you’re racing through conversations or dodging quirky questions, these witty gems keep the vibe light and entertaining. Get ready to smile, cringe, and maybe even relate as we dive into the hilarious chaos of speed dating! 😂💬❤️

New funny speed date quotes 👇

All funny speed date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

77 shares on Slack this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

64 shares on X this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to pee. Story of my life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Spotted on Threads:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Just shared via Slack:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Just shared via Messenger:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Seen just now on Instagram:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Just landed via Twitch:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Breaking via WeChat:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴