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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

β€œOMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has copied:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Making waves on YouTube:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Just landed via Threads:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Shared recently on Reddit:

If a company’s hiring sign says, β€œCome grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Making waves on Slack:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Spotted on Twitch:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Just shared via Threads:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Seen just now on YouTube:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Funny suit quotes

Funny suit quotes bring style and laughs together in the most dapper way! πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘” Whether you’re rocking a sharp tux or just love a good blazer moment, these witty lines add charm and humor to any outfit. Ready to suit up with a smile? πŸ˜‚πŸŽ© Get inspired and turn your fashion game into a fun statement that’s all about confidence and cool vibes! πŸ’Όβœ¨

New funny suit quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny suit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

73 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

55 shares on Slack this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

91 shares on X this month:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with β€œWelcome back everyone”?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has viewed:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has viewed:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has shared:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Discord:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Seen just now on Discord:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Spotted on Reddit:

In high school I was voted β€œmost likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

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