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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Live now on TikTok:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Breaking via Pinterest:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Spotted on Threads:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Trending via Messenger:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Just landed via YouTube:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Live now on YouTube:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Trending via TikTok:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Funny tables quotes

Funny tables quotes bring a whole new level of laughter to your everyday gatherings 🪑😂 Whether it’s mealtime madness or office desk drama, these witty sayings spice up any space with humor and charm 🎉✨ Ready to brighten your day and make you smile from ear to ear? Dive into a world where tables aren’t just furniture—they’re the stars of the funniest conversations 😄🔥 #TableTalk #LaughOutLoud

New funny tables quotes 👇

All funny tables quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

61 shares on Slack this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Spotted on WeChat:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Going viral on X:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Just shared via YouTube:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Just shared via Twitch:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Going bananas on Telegram:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

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