Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Breaking via X:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spotted on TikTok:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Making waves on Slack:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Funny tickets quotes

Funny tickets quotes 🎟️😂 are the perfect way to lighten up those pesky moments when you get caught out! Whether it’s a parking oops or a speeding slip, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter. Ready to giggle through your ticket troubles? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes that make fines feel a little less serious and a lot more entertaining! 🚗💨🤣

New funny tickets quotes 👇

All funny tickets quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

82 shares on X this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

11 shares on Threads this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

77 shares on Threads this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Live now on Snapchat:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Seen just now on Discord:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

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