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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Spotted on Slack:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Going bananas on Discord:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Spotted on Instagram:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Shared recently on Discord:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Just shared via Threads:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Breaking via TikTok:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Funny Venmo quotes

Funny Venmo quotes are the secret sauce to turning everyday money transfers into moments of laughter and personality 💸😂 Whether you’re splitting bills, paying back friends, or just sending a little love, a clever message makes it way more fun! 🎉💬 Get ready to brighten up your Venmo activity with witty, cheeky, and downright hilarious lines that’ll have everyone smiling before the cash even hits their account 😎💰

New funny Venmo quotes 👇

All funny Venmo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Messenger this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Seen just now on Twitch:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My recliner and I go way back.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Just shared via Reddit:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

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