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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Just landed via X:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just landed via Reddit:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Breaking via Discord:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Just shared via Telegram:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Spotted on X:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Funny wish list quotes

Funny wish list quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to your gift-giving game! Whether you’re dropping hints or just having fun, these witty lines 😂 add charm and personality to any wish list. Perfect for holiday vibes 🎄, birthdays 🎂, or just because, they turn simple requests into memorable moments. Ready to make your wishlist stand out and spark some laughs? Let’s dive into the funniest vibes ever! 😜🎁

New funny wish list quotes 👇

All funny wish list quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Threads this month:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Breaking via Discord:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Just landed via Discord:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Freshly posted on X:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

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