Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Making waves on Reddit:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Spotted on YouTube:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Trending via Slack:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Trending via Snapchat:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Funny wish list quotes

Funny wish list quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to your gift-giving game! Whether you’re dropping hints or just having fun, these witty lines 😂 add charm and personality to any wish list. Perfect for holiday vibes 🎄, birthdays 🎂, or just because, they turn simple requests into memorable moments. Ready to make your wishlist stand out and spark some laughs? Let’s dive into the funniest vibes ever! 😜🎁

New funny wish list quotes 👇

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

0

2 months ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list
Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

0

2 months ago

buy, Christmas, good, honesty, humor, list, mind, never, once, own, Santa, stuff, time, wish, wish list, year
Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

0

2 months ago

better, check, Christmas, getting, gift, holiday, hope, humor, list, media, naughty, Santa, social, social media, therapy, us, wish, wish list
This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

0

2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, cheer, different, gift, gift idea, holiday, holiday cheer, humor, ID, idea, list, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, tranquilizer, wish, wish list, year

All funny wish list quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

32 shares on Threads this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At least life has music.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up alive again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Just landed via Slack:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Live now on Messenger:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Making waves on Threads:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

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