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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Just landed via Threads:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Trending via Reddit:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Just shared via Reddit:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Broadcasted on X:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Just shared via Twitch:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Making waves on Snapchat:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Trending via TikTok:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Trending via X:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Shared recently on X:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Just shared via X:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

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