Commentary:
Looks like the kitchen drama turned into a bathroom surprise plot twist! 🪳🚽 Who knew a cockroach could cause such a household adventure? Just another day in the life of an unexpected insect relocation expert! 🤣 #HouseholdHijinks
48 Funny yesterday quotes
Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Commentary:
🌮 "Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! Because in the end, tacos are always the answer to life's toughest questions. Embrace the taco-shaped destiny that awaits you!" 🌮✨
Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁♂️🚫"
I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.
Commentary:
"Being awesome is a full-time job, and yesterday's shift really wore me out! 😅💪 Today, I might just settle for 'slightly above average' and call it a win. #AwesomeStruggles"
I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.
Commentary:
"Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"
Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.
Commentary:
Oops! I think I need to file this under 'Mission Impossible'. 🍫🔍😬
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be needing a crane to rescue me from my cozy beanbag mission! 😂🪂📞
Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're on a quest to explore the ancient art of daily takeout! 🍜🤣🥢