Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"God, I know good things come to those who wait, but a little update on the shipping status of my soulmate wouldn't hurt, right? Just want to make sure they're not lost in transit!"

dating, God, humor, love, patience, relationship, soulmate, tracking, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

0

2 months ago

40, daily, daily life, galaxy, hour, humor, irony, life, planet, planets, satire, universe, week, weeks, work, work week
Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

0

2 months ago

access, giving, humor, internet, irony, mistake, people, technology
Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

0

2 months ago

across, airport, airport experience, country, experience, flying, Funny, hang, humor, mall, oh, travel, travel humor
Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

0

2 months ago

humor, lightheartedness, marshmallow, roasting, self-deprecation, self-esteem, stop, yourself
All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

0

2 months ago

happiness, happy, humor, irony, leave, me, people, relationships, social
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

0

2 months ago

course, crush, delusion, going, humor, leave, love, reality, relationship, spouse, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

26 shares on X this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Just shared via Threads:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Trending via Twitch:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Live now on TikTok:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Making waves on Telegram:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨