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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Going bananas on Discord:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Breaking via Telegram:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Making waves on Discord:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Trending via Instagram:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Live now on Reddit:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Just landed via Instagram:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Guess who already ordered a one-way ticket to Solitude Island! 🏝️🙅‍♂️💔

conflict, couple, every, hanging, humor, interaction, love, me, never, relationship, sarcasm, saying, social, social interaction, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

1 month ago
addiction, anxiety, beverage, caffeine, coffee, enjoy, humor, sarcasm, urinating
I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

1 month ago
confused, confusion, election, humor, i, mistake, realtor, sign, signs, think, voted, yard, yard sign
He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

1 month ago
fizzics, funny name, groundbreaking, humor, mr., Mr. Pepper, name, only, pepper, pun, research, science
Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

1 month ago
baby, baby name, carrying, humor, insane, insanity, month, months, name, naming, nine, nine month, parenthood, pregnancy
Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

1 month ago
ago, humor, i, irony, meeting, meetings, million, only, reflection, sit, stand, year’s
Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

1 month ago
date, deal, expiry, humor, i, patience, payback, ready, revenge, timing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Making waves on X:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Trending via Threads:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Making waves on Telegram:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

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Activity Log ✨

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

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Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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