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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Going viral on WeChat:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just shared via Instagram:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about mood rings, suggesting intense emotions with playful exaggeration.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your mood ring needs a fire extinguisher on standby! 🔥💍😆

emotional, explode, explosion, humor, i, joke, mood, mood ring, personality, ring

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62 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

87 shares on Threads this month:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

86 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Making waves on Instagram:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going viral on Facebook:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Live now on Facebook:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Freshly posted on X:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Trending via Slack:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

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Activity Log ✨

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨