Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Going viral on TikTok:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Just shared via Twitch:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Making waves on Instagram:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Spotted on Telegram:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Making waves on Instagram:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Trending via WeChat:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about mood rings, suggesting intense emotions with playful exaggeration.

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Commentary:
Sounds like your mood ring needs a fire extinguisher on standby! 🔥💍😆

emotional, explode, explosion, humor, i, joke, mood, mood ring, personality, ring

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25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

21 shares on Discord this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Making waves on Discord:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Just shared via Facebook:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Making waves on Twitch:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Going viral on Messenger:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Trending via Twitch:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨