Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Just landed via Discord:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Making waves on Discord:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Spotted on Twitch:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Just shared via Slack:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

4 weeks ago

Humorous text about reality being virtual and all in your phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your phone’s more dramatic than an Oscar-winning movie! 🍿📱😂"

digital, distraction, happening, humor, illusion, none, perception, phone, reality, technology

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

29 shares on Slack this month:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

17 shares on Telegram this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

61 shares on Discord this month:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Trending via Telegram:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Just landed via Snapchat:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Shared recently on WeChat:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨