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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Shared recently on Threads:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Going viral on X:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Just shared via YouTube:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Witty text highlighting surprise over a prolonged Black Friday sale extension.
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Commentary:
Guess the calendar didn't get the memo! 🗓️🤔 #TimeTravelSales

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Just landed via X:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

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