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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,900

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Going viral on Telegram:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Trending via Instagram:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Seen just now on X:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess the calendar didn't get the memo! 🗓️🤔 #TimeTravelSales

black, Black Friday, extension, Friday, humor, oh, sale, sarcasm, shopping, Tuesday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

1 month ago
across, angry, around, came, dating, fun, humor, i, just, ly, profile, relationship, Tinder, wife
Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

1 month ago
advice, calm, coming, conversation, demon, humor, Lucifer, me, right, thing, yourself
We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

2 weeks ago
burn, cd, humor, label, media, music, nostalgia, record, record label, retro, running, technology, underground, used
Occupation: the ugly friend!

1 month ago
friend, humor, occupation, relationship, self-deprecation, ugly
Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

1 month ago
avoiding, dating, humor, interaction, life, naked, new, people, relationships, seen, social, social interaction, trying
There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

2 months ago
anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Trending via Instagram:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Going viral on Discord:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Breaking via Messenger:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

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Activity Log ✨

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Occupation: the ugly friend!

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

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Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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