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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I need money, not feelings.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Going viral on X:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

2 months ago

0

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says breakdowns can't be fabulous? 💃🔥 Let the power of interpretive dance add some flair to your next meltdown – twirl those problems away! 💥✨ #DancingThroughChaos"

creativity, dance, fun, humor, interpretive, interpretive dance, meltdown, performance, self-expression, spice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bug, comfort, expression, feeling, humor, rug
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

0

2 months ago

analogy, blender, chaos, childhood, humor, old, parenting, toddler, top
There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

0

2 months ago

busy, humor, looking, office, people, productivity, pros, types, work
I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

0

2 months ago

bill, change, dollar, humor, i, independence, money, need, one dollar, relationship, self-worth, single
I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

0

2 months ago

change, feelings, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, past, reflection, remember, sun, vulnerability
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

0

3 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Being weird never goes out of style.

55 shares on Discord this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

30 shares on Slack this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

46 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

69 shares on X this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

73 shares on Instagram this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Spotted on Reddit:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Going viral on X:

I’m sick of living through history!

Seen just now on YouTube:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

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