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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Going viral on Threads:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Live now on WeChat:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Just landed via TikTok:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Wow, my modem just made noises that sent my cat into witness protection 😂📞📟

20, access, age, ago, anyone, digital, digital age, experience, hard, humor, internet, internet user, new, old, old internet, online, online access, sarcasm, should, stupid, technology, too, usability, used, user, user experience

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

72 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

75 shares on Threads this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

94 shares on Slack this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

77 shares on WeChat this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Making waves on Instagram:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Just landed via Slack:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Trending via Pinterest:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Shared recently on Telegram:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Breaking via Slack:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

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Activity Log ✨

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Overthinkaholic!

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Overthinkaholic!

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨