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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, my modem just made noises that sent my cat into witness protection 😂📞📟

20, access, age, ago, anyone, digital, digital age, experience, hard, humor, internet, internet user, new, old, old internet, online, online access, sarcasm, should, stupid, technology, too, usability, used, user, user experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

0

2 weeks ago

cheating, childhood, Christmas, claus, family, humor, i, kid, kissing, misunderstanding, mommy, Santa, Santa Claus, saw, song, thought, understand
I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

0

2 months ago

Arabia, Howdy, humor, i, just, laughing, laughter, someone, still, Texas
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women
Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, minutes, nature, newborn, old, wit
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

0

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

0

2 months ago

bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, cartoon wisdom, choices, fight, flight, humor, i, lady, lessons, life, life lessons, limited, me, pretend, pretty, pretty lady, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Shared recently on Discord:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Spotted on YouTube:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨