Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just landed via X:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Just landed via Instagram:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling uniquely ordinary 😂🤷‍♂️ #SpecialJustLikeYou 🌟

always, else, everyone, humor, individuality, irony, just, paradox, remember, unique

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

0

2 months ago

arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten
“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

0

5 months ago

anything, boo, cheer, doctrine, goated, humor, me, mean, morty, nothing, rick, Rick and Morty, seen, us
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drunk, fishing, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, party, perspective, still
I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

0

2 months ago

culture, ear, ghost, Hee-Hee, hope, humor, i, jackson, michael, Michael Jackson, music, pop, pop culture, sleep, spooky
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

0

2 months ago

camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

0

2 months ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Tested positive for being single af

83 shares on TikTok this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Just landed via Instagram:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Making waves on Slack:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Spotted on X:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨