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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Trending via Telegram:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Going viral on Reddit:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on Twitch:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Trending via Telegram:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Seen just now on Discord:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Making waves on Threads:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Witty quote about individuality with a humorous twist on uniqueness and sameness.
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Commentary:
Feeling uniquely ordinary 😂🤷‍♂️ #SpecialJustLikeYou 🌟

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

88 shares on X this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

41 shares on X this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Going viral on YouTube:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Spotted on Discord:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Live now on Threads:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via Snapchat:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Spotted on TikTok:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

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