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Trying to find someone cooler than me is like searching for a unicorn in a haystack! 🦄😎
Author Archives: slickboy
If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.
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When life doesn't give you lemons, just buy your own and make a luxury lemonade stand 🍋💅✨
Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.
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Mastering the ancient art of "I'm present," level: Grandparent Edition 👴🎶📵⚡
My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.
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The ultimate zen move: expert-level napping! 🧘♂️😴✨
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.
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Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨
“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”
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Shakespearean widow mode activated: *sobs dramatically* "Is this a spilled coffee I see before me?!" 🎭☕️🤯
Coffee is better when you have no work.
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When your coffee tastes like a vacation and your desk is just a decoration 🏖️☕🤣
Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.
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Hope my neighbors don't mind all the shirt casualties and surprise Hulkamania! 🤣💪👕
Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.
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Just imagine he suggests a couch without 37 decorative pillows 🛋️😱📌
I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.
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Feeling sun-kissed? More like sun-slapped! 🌞😎