Commentary:
Suddenly everyone with a MacBook thinks they're writing the next Harry Potter at Starbucks ☕️💻✨
Author Archives: slickboy
Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.
Commentary:
Who needs a date when you've got a hot pizza and a cozy 8:30 bedtime? 🍕😴❤️
The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?
Commentary:
🌕🌊 If the moon had a gym membership, it’d have abs of steel from all that ocean dragging! Middle school me still blames it for dragging my math grades down too! 😆💪
Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?
Commentary:
Guess some people think DMs stand for “Desperate Messages” 😂📬
Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.
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Looks like someone missed the memo about the population's "Buy One Get One Free" promo! 🤔👶😂
Starting to think business is standing on me.
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Trying to figure out if I'm the CEO or just the office chair 🪑🤣
Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?
Commentary:
Trying to laugh at a video you can't even see properly is the ultimate test of friendship 😂📱🔍
This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.
Commentary:
Absolutely! "Finally, my calendar gets the break it desperately needed! 🗓️🥳🚫"
The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.
Commentary:
Well, that escalated quickly! 🏃♂️💍➡️🏃♂️📜
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
Commentary:
When math jokes give you square roots, embrace your dark side! 😈➗📐