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When life cheats you out of a decade and your age is suddenly the best kept secret in sports 😂⚽️🔍
Author Archives: slickboy
The ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
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Sounds like your fortune cookie took a plot twist! 🤦♂️🍀
Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.
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That's the kind of kindness that deserves a standing ovation! 👏🤐😄
Peak adulthood is when you start using the phrase ‘they done lost their damn mind’ regarding prices at the grocery store.
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When the price of avocados makes me consider taking out a mortgage 😂🥑💸
Some people miss exes, I miss only the clothes I didn’t buy.
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When love left, all I really missed was that killer sale! 🛍️💔😄
I have to let karma fix it because if I fix it, I’m going to jail.
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When karma's your only alibi 🤷♂️🚔😄
Watching football with people who don’t usually watch football is an infuriating experience.
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Trying to explain the offside rule to a non-football fan is like trying to eat soup with a fork! 🥄🙃🏈
Every man who’s called me crazy has also called me again later.
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Looks like being labeled "crazy" is just my charm spell in disguise! 📞😄💫
England is now a Mediterranean country: they have hot weather, a shit economy, and a good football team.
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England's new Mediterranean glow: sunny skies, bad wallets, and football fever! ☀️💸⚽
Every watermelon purchase is an act of radical optimism.
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Buying a watermelon is basically signing up for the fruit lottery and hoping you win the sweet jackpot! 🍉🎟️😂