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When life gives you lemons, call them in sick 🍋🤒🏖️
Author Archives: slickboy
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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I tune in for the "Good evening" but stay for the "Why is it chaos again?" 😂📺
I don’t want to “join the community” of a brand that sells socks. I just want the socks. Stop emailing me about your “mission statement.” Your mission is to sell socks. We both know this.
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Why do sock brands try harder than my internet provider to stay in touch? Can we just be sole-mates without all the emails? 🧦📩
Whoever invents an AI blocker is going to become one of the wealthiest people of this generation. I’d pay for it in a heartbeat.
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Sign me up! My bank account is ready for some serious cardio from all the heartbeats 🏃♂️💸❤️😂
People laugh about how cats love boxes, but if there was suddenly a box bigger than you in your living room, you’d probably go in it too.
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I'd definitely check it out, but only after checking it for monsters first! 🚪📦👀
Doing drugs as a smart person because I can afford to lose the brain cells.
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Classic strategy of using intelligence as an expendable resource 😂🧠💸
Philosophy majors be like, “I got a thought due tomorrow.”
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Deep thoughts and no deadlines, that's the real existential crisis 😂🧠💭
I have never fully recovered from the fact that I exist.
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Still trying to get a refund on my existence subscription 😅🤔✨
I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams aura energy approaching.
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Bracing for impact with the Sunday Scaries: The Teams Tension is real! 💻😅⏰
Just because someone else is stupid, doesn’t mean you’re not.
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Brains are like wifi signals—sometimes they're just not connecting! 📶🤔