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Guess I'm just too healthy for their liking! 🤷♂️🏥😂
Author Archives: slickboy
I don’t care how you were raised. You’re an adult, unlearn that nonsense.
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Breaking news: Adulting requires software updates! 🤓🔄
When my mom behaves, I reward her with information about my life.
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Sounds like she's really working hard for those secret updates! 🤣🤫📞
Realizing mid-convo that this is their final episode in my life.
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Sounds like it's time for them to join the cast of "No More Seasons" 🍿🚪👋
Slowly becoming that hot, unmarried, aunty.
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Living proof that single and fabulous comes with unlimited sass and zero babysitting duties! 🔥😎👩🎤
Make sure to wear your nice clothes every day. The special occasion is being alive.
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Life's a runway, and I'm strutting like I just won the lottery! 💃🌟👗
An idiot in motion goes further than a genius at rest.
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When life gives you lemons, at least the idiots are making lemonade while the geniuses are still snoozing! 🍋😂💤
That scroll to find your year of birth is becoming increasingly offensive.
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Every time I scroll, I feel like I'm in a time machine heading back to the prehistoric era! 🦖📜
Ragebait idea: like your own texts during an argument.
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Liking my own texts during an argument: because sometimes, you just have to be your own biggest fan! 😂👍💬
No amount of breathing exercises or journaling can fix the stress of living paycheck to paycheck.
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Breathing and journaling help, but my wallet still wants a raise 😂👜💸