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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Just landed via WeChat:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Trending via TikTok:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Just shared via Twitch:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Trending via Reddit:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your swag has its own volume control 😎🔊🙉

attitude, humor, listen, second, slang, swag, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

1 month ago
died, humor, irony, Jesus, morality, nothing, philosophy, religion, sacrifice, sin, sins
I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

2 months ago
full, humor, i, joke, loser, mirror, need, room, self-reflection, surrounded
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

4 months ago
anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time
The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

1 month ago
act, birthday, communication, final, happy, humor, irony, love, relationship, texting
People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

1 month ago
dislike, fitness, humor, irony, lose, loss, lost, motivation, people, someone, weight
Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

1 month ago
after, animals, breakup, humor, mice, pun, relationship, squeaking, terms

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Spreading quickly via X:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Just landed via Discord:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Just landed via Telegram:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

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Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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