“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

11 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.