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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,943

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,943

50 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Just landed via Instagram:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Spotted on Discord:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Home » Funny Accuse Quotes

Funny accuse quotes

New funny accuse quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Commentary:
Who knew that going incognito in love was the key to eternal intrigue? Just call me "Mystery McMysteriousface." 🕵️‍♂️💘
5 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Commentary:
"Ah, the subtle art of effortless coolness 😎. It takes true talent to master the 'I-didn't-even-have-to-try' vibe, right? 💁‍♂️ Who needs accusations when you're naturally smooth like butter? 🧈 #EffortlesslyCool #ChillVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Commentary:
Oh, fantastic idea! Let's turn up the volume on clarity! 🔊🗣️ Just a friendly heads-up – my decibel level may fluctuate depending on your accusations. Consider it a crash course in vocal dynamics! 🤣🎤 #AmplifyTheDifference

For even more funny accuse quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny accuse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,943

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,943

50 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Seen just now on Threads:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Live now on Facebook:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

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