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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Live now on Reddit:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Spotted on WeChat:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Just landed via WeChat:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Just landed via Threads:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Funny adoption quotes

Funny adoption quotes bring laughter and heartwarming moments to the beautiful journey of building a family 💕😂 Whether you’re an adoptive parent, child, or supporter, these witty words add joy and celebrate the unique bonds that make families complete 🌟👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Get ready to smile, giggle, and share the love with a sprinkle of humor that brightens every adoption story! 🎉💬

New funny adoption quotes 👇

All funny adoption quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

85 shares on Threads this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Trending via Snapchat:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Trending via Telegram:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Trending via Twitch:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on Discord:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine being social on social media.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Making waves on Reddit:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

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