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We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

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Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there. - 65 shares on YouTube this week.
Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private. - 85 shares on Snapchat this week.
I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. - 19 shares on WeChat this week.
There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics. - 90 shares on WhatsApp this week.
My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds. - 89 shares on Facebook this week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

8,003 funny quotes and pics

11,377 funny quotes topics

Updated: 1 hour ago

Trending Funny Quotes 🔥

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone! - 4 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same. - 7 folks are currently viewing this quote.
You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night? - 10 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Newborns cry because they’re being evicted. - 3 folks are currently viewing this quote.
I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin. - 2 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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