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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Just shared via Reddit:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Making waves on Slack:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Seen just now on Discord:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Just landed via Discord:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Trending via YouTube:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Just landed via Messenger:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Just landed via Slack:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Just landed via WeChat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Going viral on Twitch:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Reported on YouTube:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Shared recently on Discord:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

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