Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just landed via Facebook:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Just shared via YouTube:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Seen just now on Messenger:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Spotted on Messenger:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Broadcasted on X:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Going bananas on Threads:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Going viral on Instagram:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Funny belongings quotes

Funny belongings quotes bring a burst of laughter to the everyday stuff we own 🛋️😂 From quirky gadgets to that one mysterious item in your drawer, these witty sayings celebrate our love-hate relationship with belongings 🎉🧸 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even rethink that clutter—because sometimes, our things have the funniest stories to tell! 🎈📦

New funny belongings quotes 👇

All funny belongings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Discord this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Going viral on Reddit:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Just shared via Slack:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

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