Commentary:
"Looks like I'm on the 'something' rollercoaster and forgot to get off! 🎢😅 What's next, a loop-de-loop?"
322 Funny comedy quotes
I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
Commentary:
"When your problems realize they aren't getting any attention and decide to ghost you instead 😂🙌 #MasterOfAvoidance"
Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?
Commentary:
"Watching a grown man stumble on a train makes me wonder if he's planning to provide comic relief for the family instead! 🤣🚂 #ProviderOfJokes"
I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.
Commentary:
"When your laugh echoes like a Disney villain's cackle 🏰😆🔊 #DreamBigOrGoHome"
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
Commentary:
"Current me looking back at past me: 🎢🤡. At least one of us is evolving!" 😂💡
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
Commentary:
"With all these 'workouts,' I must be on the cover of Stress Vogue soon! 😅🧘♀️💥"
At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.
Commentary:
"Current situation: involuntarily becoming one with my thoughts 🧘♂️🤯 Can someone please ship an emergency playlist to the gym? 🎧😂"
Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
"Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion"
Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.
Commentary:
"Some people are just tirelessly dedicated to their craft! 🤦♂️🙄 #FullTimeAsshole"
Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.
Commentary:
Looks like my brain just hit its "stupid" data limit for the week! Time for a brain reboot! 😂🧠🔄