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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Going viral on Facebook:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Going viral on Telegram:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Going viral on Reddit:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Shared recently on X:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Spotted on Discord:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Funny commuting quotes

Funny commuting quotes 🚗😂 turn those daily travel grinds into moments of laughter and lightness! Whether you’re stuck in traffic, packed like a sardine on the subway, or just trying to stay awake on the bus 🚌😴, these witty lines will brighten your ride and make the journey feel a little less like a chore. Ready to chuckle your way through rush hour? Let’s dive in and keep those smiles rolling! 😄✨

New funny commuting quotes 👇

All funny commuting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

88 shares on X this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

16 shares on X this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Seen just now on Threads:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Just landed via Slack:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Spotted on TikTok:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

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