Commentary:
"Turning betrayal into a family affair! 👪🔥 Who needs a cheating boyfriend when you can upgrade to a upgraded model? 😂👴 #UltimateRevenge #StepSonGoals"
231 Funny date quotes
“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.
Commentary:
"Sorry, can't downgrade my worth even for a day! 💁♀️💸 #sorrynotsorry"
If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question of date planning with a time limit! 🕒 How about we start with breakfast in Paris, lunch in Tokyo, and wrap it up with dinner under the stars in the Maldives? 🥐🍣🌌 Don't worry, we'll have fast transportation and even faster wit to match! 💫😉"
I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.
Commentary:
"Looking for someone cuter? Sorry, you've hit the cuteness jackpot with yourself! 😏🌟 #SelfLoveGoals #CutenessOverload"
Blink if you want me!
Commentary:
"Either my charm is blinding or you just have something in your eye 😉😎 #WinkIfYoureInterested"
And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.
Commentary:
"Watch closely, as I perform the disappearing act of a lifetime: making this first date magically transform into the last date! 🎩✨ Who knew dating could be a magic show? 🃏 #AbracadabraGoodbye"
Netflix & by yourself.
Commentary:
"Netflix & by yourself: the ultimate duo for a wild Friday night 🍿📺 Who needs a party when you've got the best company around? 😂 #NetflixAndChillByMyself"
How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal egg conundrum! 🍳🤔 Just remember, eggs don't come with a best before date imprinted on them like a secret code. It's all about the float test: if they sink, they're wink-wink 😉, but if they float, it's a firm nope! 🥚⛵️ Don't let those eggs go rogue and turn into a science project, unless you're looking for a new pet bacteria!
I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'plot twist' moment in a romantic comedy… or is it a horror movie?! 👀🎬 Here's to finding 'the one' who doesn't ghost you faster than a magician makes a rabbit disappear! 🎩🐇✨"
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.
Commentary:
"Who needs a Netflix and chill night when you can have a Netflix and chi🐔cken nuggets extravaganza? The perfect combination of binge-watching and yummy snacks! 📺🍗 #NetflixAndChickNuggs"