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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

(Flirting) Whatโ€™s every single thing youโ€™ve ever thought?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A 12 step program but itโ€™s just me getting off the couch.

Going viral on Twitch:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Just landed via Telegram:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Making waves on Slack:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Just shared via YouTube:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Just shared via X:

Ah, the magical land of Mondayโ€”the gift that keeps not giving!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

508 Funny dating quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their headโ€” it expired.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I had too much to think last night.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When youโ€™re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Welcome to your 40โ€™s. You now have to second guess your age as you canโ€™t believe youโ€™re that old.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someoneโ€™s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Something very chic about crying while drivingโ€ฆ have to keep it a little classy so you donโ€™t crashโ€ฆ other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane overโ€ฆ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Telegram:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheepโ€™s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Deleted all dating apps, instead Iโ€™m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Trending via YouTube:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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