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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Just shared via Telegram:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Going bananas on X:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Going viral on Messenger:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Trending via Threads:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

1 month ago

$10, dating, humor, personality, relationship, traits, volume
I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

1 month ago

dating, dog, ever, ghosted, humor, just, loyalty, me, pets, relationship, saying
Single, not sure how to mingle.

1 month ago

awkwardness, dating, humor, mingle, relationship, single, social, sure
You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

1 month ago

afraid, confidence, dating, humor, i, know, love, me, media, relationship, social, social media, unfollow
Single by choice. Just not my choice.

1 month ago

choice, commitment, dating, fun, humor, irony, just, relationship, single
My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

1 month ago

account, commitment, dating, Hotmail, humor, relationship, technology
Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

1 month ago

advice, dating, humor, lesson, relationship, relationships, scholar
Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

1 month ago

blood, blood pressure, chase, dating, health, high, hoe, humor, pressure, relationships, stress
My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

1 month ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate
Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

1 month ago

cheat, comedy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, love, me, relationship, trying, unrequited, unrequited love

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

95 shares on Threads this month:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Trending via WeChat:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Trending via WeChat:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Making waves on X:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Going viral on Reddit:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Going viral on Discord:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨