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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Just landed via Instagram:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Just landed via Reddit:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes » Page 41

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

50 shades of single.

0

2 months ago

50, dating, humor, relationship, shades, single
It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

0

2 months ago

dating, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, play, relationship, self-deprecation, want
8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

0

2 months ago

country, dating, humor, island, loneliness, people, person, planet, relationship, sea, single
Are you a software update, because not now!

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, not now, procrastination, software, software update, technology, update
I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

0

2 months ago

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

0

2 months ago

dating, deserve, DM, less, me, sarcasm, self-worth
Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

0

2 months ago

dating, expectations, humor, man, nobody, relationship, stress, woman
I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

0

2 months ago

dating, flirt, humor, i, insult, interaction, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills, wit
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, humor, keep, loyal, loyal woman, man, relationship, reply, trying, woman, women

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

80 shares on X this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

95 shares on WeChat this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Just shared via Facebook:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Trending via Pinterest:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Trending via WeChat:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Just shared via Slack:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Live now on Telegram:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Live now on Threads:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨