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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

9 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,278

Funny Quotes Topics

17,393

Funny Quotes Images

15,278

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just shared via TikTok:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Live now on Slack:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Funny details quotes

Funny details quotes bring out the charm in the little things that make life hilariously unforgettable 😂✨ From quirky observations to clever twists, these gems turn everyday moments into laugh-out-loud memories 🤪🎉 Ready to spot the humor hiding in plain sight? Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort with these witty takes on the tiniest details! 😆💬

New funny details quotes 👇

All funny details quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

9 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,278

Funny Quotes Topics

17,393

Funny Quotes Images

15,278

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Seen just now on Slack:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Spotted on Instagram:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Going viral on Instagram:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Trending via X:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

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