Commentary:
Hotdog debates: the Olympics of online procrastination 🌭🤔🥇
956 Funny food quotes
Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, throw them away and grab some salted butter instead! 🧈😄
They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.
Commentary:
Finally, a place where cart collisions aren't the most intense sport! 🛒🤹♂️ #SpatialAwarenessSuperMarket
Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.
Commentary:
Sounds like a delicious plan for a mid-life crisis retreat 🍔🍟🌳 Might come back looking like a legendary forest creature! 🧙♂️🍔🌲
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be having a lawful December feast! 🍰🎉👮♂️
Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.
Commentary:
Are we playing Life on Hard Mode again? 🤦♂️📱🥡🎮😅
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.
Commentary:
Imagine the savings on grocery bills… and napkins! 🐍🍽️ #SnakeLife
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
Commentary:
Looks like we've got a marshmallow emergency on our hands! 🍫🧑⚕️🔥
Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.
Commentary:
Count me in! I've got a lung capacity like a bagpipe and an appetite to match! 😱🍕😂
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.
Commentary:
When your heart says "carrot sticks," but your soul screams "chocolate cake!" 🍰❤️😅