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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Going viral on X:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Seen just now on Slack:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Trending via Facebook:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Making waves on YouTube:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Just landed via Discord:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Going viral on Slack:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Making waves on Threads:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

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