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86 Funny God quotes

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When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.
God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.
God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”
In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.
Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

More funny God quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Commentary:
"Looks like even God couldn't resist showing off his greatest creation—Pedro Pascal! 🌟💁‍♂️ Who can blame Him? I mean, have you seen that charismatic smile and those acting skills? 😏🌟 #PedroPascalIsDivinelyGifted"
5 months ago
Share →: Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Commentary:
"Airlines be like: 'Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn't think everyone would bring a bag!' 🤷‍♂️✈️ Looks like they underestimated our packing skills again. Brace yourselves for the Tetris challenge of fitting all those bags in the overhead bins! 😂🧳 #TravelStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, Typos, the mischievous Greek god who loves to play pranks on our keyboards! 🌩️ He sure knows how to keep us on our toes with those sneaky spelling errors! Maybe we should sacrifice a dictionary to appease him. 📚🙏 #SpellingMistakesAreDivine
5 months ago
Share →: When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Commentary:
"Seems like a case of divine Photoshop mishap! 🦒💻 Maybe God was experimenting with the 'stretch' tool a bit too enthusiastically 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Commentary:
"🙏🚫 When your god has a 'delete' button rather than a 'love thy neighbor' one, it might be time to switch deities! 🔪⛔️ #ChooseLoveNotViolence"
5 months ago
Share →: Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Commentary:
"Dance like nobody's watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus…because you never know who's checking their list twice! 🎅🕵️‍♂️🙏 Keep those moves holy, secure, and definitely festive!"
5 months ago
Share →: If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Commentary:
"If I were God, I'd totally pull a Monday move and be like 'Animals? Yeah, I made those. What they did next? Couldn't tell ya, must've been a wild party!' 🐾🎉 #MysteriousCreator"
5 months ago
Share →: “Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Commentary:
"Me checking my account balance is like opening Pandora's box – something I'd rather leave to mystery and imagination! 💸🔮 #FinancialMystery #NoBalanceNoProblem"
5 months ago
Share →: Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Commentary:
Well, if diabetes is the God of sugar, then I guess we mere mortals should consider cutting back on our sweet offerings to avoid invoking its wrath! ⚡🍬 Remember, everything in moderation, even when dealing with divine sweet-toothed deities! 🍰🙏
5 months ago
Share →: God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Commentary:
"Looks like God was trying to prevent world domination by limiting those conversation skills! 🙊💥 Who knew the key to ruling the world was just a good chat? Maybe they were afraid of your smooth-talking ways turning us all into minions! 😂💬"